Oh, hypocrisy

I see all my thirtysomething friends gone nerdy, living with no one but their pets, spending all of their free time watching anime, TV series etc. And I think something like ‘well, that’s a nice way to waste a life’.
But so far, my own doesn’t seem to be heading towards anything better than that.
And what if they do good things and achieve great thinks and I just have no idea of it, which is why I misjudge them?
Is it then the fact of somebody’s recognition for what we’re doing that decides?

Freaking out about myself late in the evening results in sobbing and passive angst.

Freaking out about my cats results in compulsive shopping in online pet stores.

This is gonna be a really exciting month.

What a beautiful day

My face is swollen, my head aches as if it has hit a wall for a couple of times and I feel like total shit.

If nobody gives a shit about anybody, how is anybody supposed to give a shit about me.

And what is the worse? Whatever I did it would be perceived as immature and/or ridiculous. The only not-making-worse solution is shutting everything out, not feeling anything. How the hell am I supposed to do this when everything is fucked up and wrong.

I don’t know where my kitties are and I just feel like I don’t wanna go to sleep today.

Okay I also learned today that I’m not allowed to take care of my own cats for two weeks abroad while my parents are at the seaside.

Because of reasons.

I feel helpless like I never felt before, my heart aches and I am sick and worried as hell. How are my cats going to cope for one week with no one but my grandparents who actually don’t give much shit about them and do not even want to listen how to take care of them?

My grandparents don’t give a shit, my uncle and his family don’t give a shit, my father doesn’t give a shit, nobody gives a shit about my cats but me and my mum.

Don’t I just feel too guilty already for not being able to take my cats with me, having to let them stay with my parents?

It is just dumb as hell, I want to take care about them, at least of that I am capable, and yet it’s not possible.

Why didn’t I rent my own flat? I wouldn’t have to be dependent on anybody’s whim. Oh, because I would spent all my money and my pay is poor and I should be saving money rather than giving it all away because of cats.

This is just fucking ridiculous.

I don’t want to know what’s gonna happen within the next two weeks. I want to get drunk, pass away and wake up when it’s all over.

*I also just realized that it means I’m gonna spend three damn whole weeks just on my own in a weird house fool of oozy smells and creepy noises and damn flies which means I’m gonna freak the hell out twice at the same time.

And I just want to know how am I gonna play my part, conceal my tears, feel nothing about it as if nothing happened?

Back to the archive of lost dreams

Is it Christmas yet?

Well, when I found out that they’re giving away Sims 2 Ultimate Collection for free and it’s legal and totally safe and official it really felt like Christmas was there already.

It’s like all my teenage dreams came true.

Well, all but two, to be precise. I also dreamed of becoming a famous writer and marrying a certain ski jumper. While the first one is unlikely, but still an open case, the latter ain’t gonna happen. But I got over it some time ago already, so that’s okay.

Strangely or funnily enough, currently I see his lookalike day by day on the bus back home from the office. And I just dunno what to think about it. I can’t help but stare at him, which is kinda creepy. The same face, not so fit body type, but fine legs anyway. And the same five o’clock shadow, when I noticed my brain was at first like “mmm I would rub it” and then “srsly, brain, wtf”.

He takes a look at me sometimes while we’re waiting for the bus but never when I get off it at my stop.

Despite the fact that it means actually nothing, my brain goes crazy overthinking. That he’s not my type anymore. That he’s actually not really decently handsome. What if he doesn’t even have a decent job. What if he smokes. What if he’s riding a motorcycle. What if he has a nasty dog. What if he is, so to say, beneath the expectations level.

There are so many ways of becoming disappointed with somebody.

On the other hand, I have no idea who the guy actually is. He’s a lookalike, like a photocopy, like a box with the same pattern on the lid. But what is inside? I dunno and most probably won’t do anything myself to find out.

Dunno, dunno, dunno. What a waste of time, thinking of all of this on Saturday night, Time to launch these Sims, they ain’t gonna play themselves on their own.

life-of-an-architecture-student:

Do Less = Do More.

The theory boils down to the fact that we can’t increase the hours in the day, but we can increase the energy with which we make the most of those hours. Taking short, scheduled breaks throughout the day rejuvenates and restores us physically and mentally, helping us plow through those assignments and to-do lists in a third of the time.
…
Inspired by Schwarz and the studies he cited, I created a Daily Schedule that broke up my day into 90-minute Work Blocks, separated by 30 minute Breaks and, in the middle of my day, a 2-hour lunch. I know some of you just spit your coffee out. But you read that right.

While your Daily Schedule blocks may be different from what is set in the article, the concept remains the same: break your day into 90 minute blocks (which research has shown is the ideal length of time for any focused activity), then sprinkle in a few short chunks of restorative activities. Activities can include everything from walking, working out, a short nap, or anything that gets you away from the work for a short while.
(The photo above is a look into the daily schedule of one of America’s most productive men, Benjamin Franklin.)
 

life-of-an-architecture-student:

Do Less = Do More.

The theory boils down to the fact that we can’t increase the hours in the day, but we can increase the energy with which we make the most of those hours. Taking short, scheduled breaks throughout the day rejuvenates and restores us physically and mentally, helping us plow through those assignments and to-do lists in a third of the time.

Inspired by Schwarz and the studies he cited, I created a Daily Schedule that broke up my day into 90-minute Work Blocks, separated by 30 minute Breaks and, in the middle of my day, a 2-hour lunch. I know some of you just spit your coffee out. But you read that right.

While your Daily Schedule blocks may be different from what is set in the article, the concept remains the same: break your day into 90 minute blocks (which research has shown is the ideal length of time for any focused activity), then sprinkle in a few short chunks of restorative activities. Activities can include everything from walking, working out, a short nap, or anything that gets you away from the work for a short while.

(The photo above is a look into the daily schedule of one of America’s most productive men, Benjamin Franklin.)

 

Do you know what people want more than anything? They want to be missed. They want to be missed the day they don’t show up. They want to be missed when they’re gone.

In another excellent episode of NPR’s TED Radio Hour, Seth Godin dispenses some of his signature wisdom in discussing what makes a great leader. (David Foster Wallace had similar ideas.)

Pair with Godin on vulnerability, creative courage, and how to dance with the fear.

(via explore-blog)